Your Bucket

There is an analogy that gets used a lot involving of all things a bucket. I guess buckets have been around long enough that they are universal and have time to be thought about in profound ways (shrug). The kicking the bucket analogy is not the attention of this blogs' topic. The reaction bucket of water or gasoline is not the focus either, although somewhat related.

The focus is the bucket of emotional wellness. I remember when I was just before my teenage years in Sunday School catching a little bit of a lesson. It was someone, I couldn't tell you who, but I remember they were someone I respected so I can remember listening. They talked about everyone having a bucket. I must have thought this was a curious idea because I listened more closely. The spirit of the lesson:

We all have a bucket that make up our emotional wellness. When we interact with others in our environment at times we allow them to draw from the substance of our emotional bucket in an unhealthy way. We allow them to 'dip' from our bucket. This is what is occurring when we are having a great day and somebody comes along and either intentionally or unintentionally says something that we allow to make us feel less then, or hurt by, or irritated with. They 'dipped' from our bucket, and we actually walk away feeling less confident, more uneasy, less peaceful inside.

This was a great thing to learn at an early age. In my very hyperactive youth I may have missed the coping piece of this. This awareness became a way to identify resentments and blame others for many years. I still go back to the blaming and anger for bucket dippers sometimes.

This practice of blaming and getting resentful is neither healthy or empowering. I am suggesting a few things that assisted me in becoming more pro-active.

1) KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS. I know what emotions that are off when I sense someone 'dipping'
2) Use the awareness of these emotions to trigger healthy coping skills.
3) Understand that most people are not intentional 'dippers'
4) Because of this: Leveling with people is so vital. Leveling is a term I use to describe respectful communication of situations that are becoming difficult to cope with.
5) Leveling requires a specific description (to know oneself is key). Then a boundary set.
6) If you respectfully level and it is not received you receive a 'bigger bucket' or become more emotionally capable if your respond respectfully and don't react.
7) Allow the individual time to process. Check in with someone else during this time, trusting someone is a great way to fill up your bucket. (I have also found it important to check in with someone prior to leveling to ensure a leveling is necessary)
8) Hold your head up high you were healthy and assertive. Congrats! (I am working on this part) REWARD YOURSELF FOR YOUR COURAGE. This fills my bucket.

I can guarantee one person on earth that you will always be around 24-7 to assist in your emotional bucket, you.

Take ownership of your
bucket and be good to yourself.

Joshua Andrus
http://www.hiresite.info/